Demi Burnett and Kristian Haggerty faced a rocky road after leaving Bachelor in Paradise.
Burnett, 25, opened up about what went wrong during this week’s episode of the Almost Famous Podcast With Ben Higgins & Ashley Iaconetti, explaining that as time went on, she “just wasn’t feeling it anymore.”
Asked whether the pair would have gotten engaged if they hadn’t been on the show together, Burnett laughed as she replied, “definitely not.”
The first same-sex couple in Bachelor Nation history began dating off-camera before Burnett left to film Paradise. During the course of production, Haggerty, who had never been on The Bachelor, joined Burnett on the show, and by the finale, Burnett got down on one knee.
However, the pair announced their split last October, and since then, both women have moved on. Burnett is dating musician Slater Davis, while Haggerty is in a relationship with Reality House star Taylor Blake.
As for what went wrong, Burnett said that while Haggerty was “the best partner to be with,” she found herself growing “distant.”
“Kristian is very, very loving and she’s the best girlfriend, the best partner to be with. She would do anything for you, and I didn’t reciprocate that. I wasn’t as good to her as she was to me,” Burnett explained on the podcast. “I was kind of distant. I was overwhelmed, I was freaked out.”
She went on to note that some of her family members weren't supportive of the relationship, which added to the stress she was feeling.
As she became more emotionally distant, Burnett also began feeling increasingly guilty, because Haggerty’s feelings had not changed.
“She was so in it and she was so good to me, and that would make me feel guilty,” she said, adding that she felt “like a garbage human being.”
“I wanted to be with her more than anything and I kept trying and I kept trying, and I just wasn’t feeling it anymore,” she continued, noting that ultimately she wasn’t “anywhere near ready for what I signed myself up for and what I did.”
Although they’ve both moved on, Burnett still feels “terribly” for how their relationship played out.
“I wish I could go back and do it better. Treat her way better. Like she deserves, because she deserves way better than what I gave her,” she said. “She’s in a new relationship now and she looks so happy, and so that makes me very happy. I just feel really bad that I was the person I had become in the relationship, you know?”
Burnett also shed some light on another rocky moment in their relationship: when Haggerty proposed to her during the BiP reunion.
“It definitely made me angry,” she said. “I’m a selfish person sometimes, and that was my thing, you know: 'I proposed to you.'”
Making things even more complicated, she didn’t like the engagement ring her ex had chosen for her.
“I was being bratty and it was just irritated in general, because once you start not to feel it with somebody, you kind of get irritable with everything they do," she continued.“I feel really bad about that too, because it was a really nice, sweet gesture, and I made her probably feel like she shouldn’t have done it, or feel bad about it, and that’s so not fair."
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