Miriam Margoyles confessions – filming adult tapes, banned position, worst habit

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    Happy birthday Miriam Margoyles – she's 82 today!

    Most will know the British-Australian actress for playing Professor Pomona Sprout in Harry Potter, the watchful nurse in Romeo + Juliet and most recently, cavorting around her native Scotland with fellow thesp Alan Cumming.

    But the veteran actress is also world-renowned for being wildly indiscreet about her sex life and confessing all sorts live on air.

    READ NEXT: Miriam Margolyes' 53 year romance – long-distance rule to tragic coming out story

    In fact, once before a segment on This Morning, she was warned by a "chap" not to "say anything too nasty".

    Miriam is gay and has been in a relationship with Australian historian Heather Sutherland, 80, since 1968. She has previously said: "I want to be with her for the rest of my life, that’s all I want."

    Though the pair are clearly devoted, that hasn't stopped Miriam from getting up to all sorts of naughty tricks over the years. So read on to discover the hilarious star's most sizzling secrets.

    The sex position that never happened

    While speaking on the Off The Menu podcast, Miriam, who read English at Cambridge, told listeners the three rules she lives by.

    And one of them was rather…rude.

    Apparently, she will never have anal sex.

    Miriam shared: “Tell the truth, never let the sun set on a quarrel, and never be f***ed up the bum, because that’s something that I have never done”.

    When pressed by host James Acaster whether there would be one person that she would let commit the act, the actor was adamant.

    “There isn’t a man alive, or a woman alive that I would let enter my a**s”, she declared.

    Miriam also dips into her sex life in her memoir, This Much is True, saying: “It’s all true. It’s about my life, my parents and how I became who I am, and the people I’ve slept with – and the people I haven’t slept with.

    “I can’t really remember everybody I’ve slept with. That’s why I didn’t name everybody, because I thought if somebody was left out, they might be offended. And indeed, if somebody was left in they might be offended.”

    Porn invitation

    Last year Miriam, who has also appeared in Blackadder, was voted one of the top "sex-positive" celebrities.

    Adult film director Erika Lust called the blunt star a "national treasure" and even invited her to make a cameo in one of her X-rated films.

    Lust, who founded on-demand adult platforms XConfessions & Lust Cinema, said: "There were so many inspirational public figures to choose from in 2022.

    "In a year when sexual freedom and identity have been challenged around the world, I’m excited to see a new wave of sex-positive changemakers come forward.

    "Yet we should also salute and celebrate those such as Cher and Miriam Margoyles, whose attitude is not defined by their age."

    She added: "In fact, if Miriam would like to be a part of one of our future projects, she just needs to get in touch.”

    'Exhausting' sex tapes

    It all started with the Cadbury's bunny. Miriam was the notoriously silken voice of the long-lashed chocolate character from the Cadbury's Caramel adverts in the 80s.

    When discussing her first "sexy" voice gig on This Morning, Miriam told Philip Schofield: “I remember they kept saying ‘make it sexier’, ‘make it sexier’. And, you know, first thing in the morning, it’s not what’s on your mind, really.”

    When quizzed about her other "less family orientated" audio work, playful Miriam said: “I did a couple of sex tapes. Sexy Sonia: Leaves From My Schoolgirl Diary, that was one of them.

    “But I have to stress, they were audio tapes. They were not visual.

    "And they were very exhausting, because when you’re simulating orgasm, as all of you out there know, it’s tiring, and you get a headache.

    "It’s not a question of having a headache at the beginning, you get a headache at the end."

    Servicing a soldier

    In one of Miriam's most outrageous anecdotes, she recalled once "w***** off a soldier" after doing a show at the Edinburgh Festival.

    While walking home, Miriam, who was in her 30s at the time, said she heard a rustling up a tree and when she looked up she saw a man pleasuring himself.

    But rather than walk on, Miriam decided to help him out.

    Speaking to Louis Theroux, she said: "I was flummoxed for a minute and then I thought 'My God he's going to get into trouble'."

    "I said 'Get down here, get down', so he came down and I said 'What's the matter with you? You can't do that'.

    "I said 'Now look, I will help you out with this one, but you need to go home after and remember you are a soldier and you'll get into trouble'.

    "So, I just w****d him off manually and off he went."

    She added: "He was a British soldier and was in the Edinburgh Tattoo."

    Worst habit

    Miriam also admitted that her most annoying habit is constantly talking about romping.

    She said: "But it’s only because I don’t really have sex any more. I just like to remember it and talk about it.

    "I think it would be nice if you mentioned that it was pleasant to talk to me because a lot of people seem to think that I’m a hateful old hag, and I think that’s completely unfair."

    Miriam, who claims to have had her first orgasm at three years old, added to The Guardian: "I think that I’m not quite like other people, but I do love humanity.

    "I hope I’ll be remembered as a talented eccentric: a mouthy old bag with a heart of gold."

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